The never intended thing
I grew up thinking I will never get a divorce. Fast forward to the age of 19. I had a life before I lived for Jesus so, this is a but Jesus story. I was asked by my boyfriend I had in High school to move away from my Mom in Florida to live with him in Lowell, Massachusetts and two other male roommates. He was then my fiance since, he did propose in February of 1995.The names are not important so, I will not disclose them out of respect for those people. I decided in August of 1996 after, I had graduated in June that year to board my first ever airplane to Boston,Ma to move in with my fiance and his two roommates. When I got there I was greeted by my fiance and we boarded an airport van to my new home an apartment in the city of Lowell. I soon started looking for work and found a job with KFC about 2-3 minutes walk from my new apartment. The new roommates were great too! Life was starting out for this 19 year old young girl. I had a lot to learn about real life on my own.The Sad Part
My story is not one that was very happy here just to warn you. I started to feel the pull of Jesus and wanted to go to a church but, I didn't have a car or a job that allowed that always. I did go one time with one of the roommates and my fiance. That's when the one roommate who held the lease was like you need to be married to live here so, I had to leave my name off the mail box and hide the fact that I lived there. We did not have a window or a peak hole on our apartment door so, I was not allowed to answer the door in case it was the landlord. We lived on the third floor with only stairs and no elevator. It was then, we were trying to rush for a marriage before Christmas that year and told my family we would try. It didn't happen then. I was kind of hesitant and did not know why. My family keep telling me not to do it so, of course that made me want to more. They supported us even though they did not agree with our choice in this matter! We ended up getting married on February 14, 1997, Valentine's day!Living with my new husband brought out so many truths that were not beautiful! I had brought my Senior yearbook with me full of signatures with phone numbers. That's when I started seeing the phone bill with numbers from that yearbook and I called maybe once but, things did not add up because there were multiple phone calls to these numbers and times when I was working. Being the naive 19 year old girl, I just worked hard and paid the bills. My husband started putting me down calling me names like stupid, not good enough, and a slew of others. He also was forceful with me otherwise! He was the one making those calls and denying it of course. This was maybe a couple weeks into the marriage.
The Ugly Truth
I did not want to believe he was this evil! I kept believing that he was not doing these things until one day, I was asked by his good friend's girl friend and a few of her friends to go to dinner and then shopping at the mall. That was fun! Then she sat me down and told me the first of the ugly truths that my husband that I had just married was cheating on me by calling her and talking dirty and nasty. They had caller ID and when she told him she was not interested he would hang up. It didn't just happen once. Also he went out with a girl from work where his friend worked also and then came back hours later. This was while I was working. Still, I denied that he could do such a thing. My friend from KFC told me he was calling her and talking all dirty and nasty too. She and her Mom had me over to their apartment to tell me. This time I believed them because things did not add up. The phone calls to Florida friends while I was working, his friend's girlfriend, and now my friend. We decided to set him up! I took my yearbook to work with me and left a fake list with names that were girl's, some were actually guys, one was the friend of mine. He called it while I was at this friends house. I stayed at my friends house all night without calling him because, I was so mad and hurt. I came home the following day and asked him and he denied it all. I knew then it was all over but, I wanted to try because it was marriage and I believed in forever with the same man.Meanwhile, my husband was starting to work as a gymnastics coach and was going to a camp in August of 1997. I tried and everything just seemed to get worse. The cheating he was doing, his denial, and his physical and mental abuse to me. I was afraid of him so, I planned my escape when he would leave. I would move in with a different friend of mine. I left him a dear John letter, packed my stuff in like an hour or two with help from a couple of friends, and moved out. I became involved as soon as I moved out with a new guy as that was my only place of safe escape!
When, I went to a wedding that August this is what I was told. "You are only supposed to get married once and never divorced." My advice, Before anyone can judge me or my situation. Walk in my shoes, be where I've been, and tell me that!
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